Is It True Love Or Just Lust?

June 4, 2019 0

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In the beginning of any relationship, there has to be some kind of chemistry for two people to be attracted to one another. The first interaction you have with a person is that of a physical one. When your eyes first meet, the initial thought might be, “OOooO.. he’s cute, I love his smile,” or maybe “OOooOo zamnnn, look at the curves on that hottie.” And that’s when the lust stage begins…

Lust is the first stage of falling in love and its driven by desire. The desire to have sex with another individual is based on physical attraction. Experts say that this stage can begin immediately after the first interaction and can last up to two years. Here are some telltale signs you may be in lust: 

  1. You’re most focused on the physical appearance.
  2. There’s a strong urge or desire to have sex, but you don’t care to have deep emotional conversations. 
  3. You overlook certain issues/annoyances you would normally voice about. (Eg. The way they chew with their mouth open, or their cackling laugh)
  4. There’s A LOT of making out.
  5. Things are super hot and heavy. 

After the lust phase starts to simmer down, you move into what I like to call the honeymoon phase. Some might say the honeymoon phase can be intertwined with the lust phase but the honeymoon phase is more of a lovey-dovey stage where you two begin to get to know one another on a deeper level. You actually start talking about your feelings instead of just that hot and heavy let’s have sex allll the time. Some signs of the honeymoon phase are: 

  1. You stay up all night, spending hours on the phone talking with your boo. 
  2. And at the end of the conversation it normally ends in “You hang up.” “No, you hang up.” “No, YOU!” (I know all of you have been there, at least ONCE in your lifetime. ;))
  3. You spend hours everyday daydreamer about your partner.
  4. You are always happy and excited to see them. 

During this honeymoon phase, a lot can happen to either make the relationship or break it. You spend a lot of time together so you start to see your partner’s quirks, (the way their forehead wrinkles when they speak, or how it can annoy you when they ALWAYS leave the toilet seat up, ergh!), you figure out how well you two can communicate, and you get to know who they REALLY are, good traits as well as the bad. It’s also in this phase that you learn if your partner’s personality is compatible with yours. For instance, you might be a spender, while your partner is always trying to save. You like to travel, while your partner is a total homebody. And what if you’re super ambitious and always searching for more out of life, yet your partner only does just enough to get by and rather stay comfortable? There’s no right or wrong but these differences will become a major roadblock in your relationship. And if these issues can’t be resolved and there’s no compromise, well then it’s time to let go of the relationship and move on because you two are just not compatible. To some of you, this might seem like it’s the end of the world, but it’s not, it’s totally okay. There are 7.7 BILLION people out there in the world, you TWO are just not the right fit. You’re going to be just fine, I promise! 

On the other hand, when you both realize that you can accept and have respect for each other’s differences, that’s when you have a true romantic love connection. At this stage, instead of it being a split between love or lust, your new path lies between being able to balance the two: committed love and red hot steamy sex. Some signs of true romantic love are: 

  1. You can share your deepest and even darkest secrets with your partner without fear of judgment.
  2. You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
  3. You want to honestly listen to one another’s feelings and help each other grow.
  4. Being able to make your partner happy makes you happy. 
  5. You still love each other even on your worst days.  
  6. He/she inspires and motivates you to be the best version of yourself. 
  7. You can be completely YOU.
  8. You can envision your future together. (…with saggy boobs, b@lls, and all)

If true love is what you’re seeking for and you resonate with at least 5 or more of the signs I just mentioned, I congratulate you because true love is hard to find and it doesn’t come to just anyone. Be sure to not take this love for granted and show this special person how much you appreciate and adore them every single day! He/she is a keeper! 

If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to comment below or reach out to me. Thanks for listening/reading!

P.S. I’m happy to announce that I have finally found my oh sooo very special person and he is my EVERYTHINGGGG!!! This blog post is stamped as TRUE LOVE, for me! ❤️

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