Going into the second ayahuasca ceremony, I was pretty exhausted from the night before. I had many visions and confirmations that I was on the right path of my purpose and although I didn’t purge too much, I was mentally drained.
They say that one ceremony, which can last from 4-8 hours, is AT LEAST one year’s worth of therapy. So just imagine all the things that could possibly be going through your mind within one ceremony. During this time, your mind is constantly working and processing through any issues that need to be resolved. It’s a very difficult path to stand up in front of your fears/traumas and face them, but for me, and most everyone who has done ayahuasca has said that it is SOO worth it!
My intentions for the second ceremony were similar to the first. I just asked Mother Aya to show me anything and everything I needed. After the smudging ceremony, I sat very quietly as I heard others around me purging again. Since I was pretty tired, I think I even fell asleep for a little bit after taking down my first cup. (Hmm.. Very odd, because that has never happened to me before.)
It seemed like only a short amount of time went by before Swap (our shaman) went around and asked if any of us wanted a second cup. I suddenly “woke” up just in time for my turn. When I got that second cup, and gulped it down, oh boyyyy did I go deep. I think Mother Aya had me rest for my first cup just so that I could have energy to face my true trauma that I had suppressed from years and years before… with my second cup.
The first part of my journey was really about being a woman. I saw the vision that I was given the gift to have a child when I am ready for one. It was so powerful and so beautiful to finally realize the true gift of motherhood. You can listen in on my recap as I was telling all of my friends about it during integration the next morning…
I thought I would be able to share with you all what happened to me a long time ago, as my trauma resurfaced during my ayahuasca ceremony but in this moment, I’m not ready. The good thing about it though, is that I did face the demons of my past head on so now I can finally heal from it instead of suppressing it even further. I’m sure that I will be able to share what happened to me one day, but I’m going to be kind to myself and allow myself time to heal first. Because of this, I had to cut that piece of the audio out but I shall continue the rest of my recap now…
I think this has to be the deepest I’ve gone with ayahuasca ever!! I saw sooo much darkness but I finally feel true appreciation for it because of the light I see now. Thanks so much for tuning in. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, please leave it below or you can reach out to me.
Join me next week for my final ayahuasca ceremony in Hawaii! Mahalo!