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365 days has gone by… Where does the time fly? This exact same time last year I was preparing for my blog launch and I was on a mission! This GRAND idea was to quit my job to travel the world, write about my adventures, and share my experiences with all of you, all the while giving back whenever and wherever I can. But the ULTIMATE goal was to get paid for doing it… Did I accomplish ALL of these goals? NO! But did I accomplish at least some of them? YES! So that’s really a win for me!
To be completely honest, before I sat down to write my reflections for the year, I was actually feeling pretty sad/disappointed. Disappointed because I started to feel as if I had failed. Failed you might ask? Well, I “quit” my job as a hygienist at the end of January with the mindset that I would never have to go back to it because I would be able to support myself by just teaching yoga. Then I also thought that since I decided that I was going to be a travel blogger that I could just write, take cute photos/videos and people would just start following me. Companies were just going to magically appear, flock to me, and pay me big bucks to write for them. Yea, of course it was going to be that easy.. EHHH!! Hello! Boy, was I wrong!! Why did I think that it was going to be that easy and that I was going to accomplish this all in a year? Why did I feel disappointed that I didn’t “succeed”!? That’s just crazy talk! Going after and working towards living the life you’ve always dreamed of is NOT going to happen over night, nor will it happen after just ONE year! When I actually sat down and intentionally thought about it, I started to feel A WHOLE LOT better about everything.
Ok, so let’s really think about this… In the last 365 days, I launched my blog, I took a HUGE leap by leaving a very secure job to pursue my dreams, I traveled to 10 different foreign countries, I helped raise funds for a couple of charities and for a family in Cuba, I literally manifested a ticket to BURNING MAN!!! (THAT WAS SO EPIC!), I let go of toxic relationships (mentally/spiritually), I’ve grown to be so much more in-tuned and aware of my surroundings and with myself, I was able to heal from deep rooted childhood traumas working with ayahuasca, and I’m pretty sure I’ve met the man on my “love list.” <3 (It might be too soon to say but let’s seeee…. *fingers crossed) The list just goes on and on and on… These were just the few things that stood out the most in my mind but DAMNNNN…. Actually sitting down and having to think about all the things I’ve accomplished this year has made me realize that this year has been FREAKIN’ EPIC!!! I was so crazy to be sad to think that I had “failed”. But sometimes that happens, and it’s totally okay to feel sad. But when you feel a negative emotion like that, it’s crucial that you don’t just run away from it and suppress it, distracting yourself from what you’re truly feeling, making yourself think that everything’s okay when it’s really not. That can really do damage to you because you’re basically just sweeping it under the rug. And if you keep sweeping it under the rug, one day that rug is going to get so dirty that you can’t sweep anything underneath it anymore, and then you’ll be forced to face all of those negative feelings all at once. Like KA-BAM! Imagine if you had just dealt with the issue when it was miniscule, it would have been so much easier. So all in all, it’s important to sit with ALL of your emotions whether good or bad, and truly allow yourself to FEEL. There are going to be days that are tougher than others to face your problems but I promise you (and I’m saying this from experience), that it’ll be worth it in the long run.
Next, what I also realized and although it might be cliche to say but “It’s really not about the destination, it’s about the journey.” I mean it’s important to think about the destination, the end goal, but all the while getting there, don’t forget to live in that moment because those moments are truly the only ones we have and these are the ones that make up… LIFE!
…How does your movie play out when you’re lying on your death bed? Do you want to watch a movie full of “I wish I did,” or “Oh, I should have” Or is it going to be one of those bad ass flicks where the main character takes risks, follows his/her heart, and lives a life of no doubts or regrets?? I sure know what my movie is going to look like… F*CKIN BAD ASSS!!! So what say YOU?? How does yours play out?
So now reflecting, and getting snapped back into reality that all my dreams and wishes aren’t going to come true within one year, (it’s going to take A WHOLE LOT more work than that), I feel super duper proud of myself for ALL the growth that has happened thus far. Dealing with and healing from my deepest and darkest insecurity which was fear of abandonment and staring at it dead in the eyes was my BIGGEST AND BEST accomplishment this year, or maybe even ever! I’m not sure if all of you understand what I’m saying, but facing your own insecurities and bringing them to light is the most courageous, yet frightening, but rewarding thing you could ever do! THIS is what I went through during my 9th ayahuasca ceremony back in October when I was in Peru. (But I will tell you more about it in my next blog.) But yea, what I’m saying is that not ALL of our biggest accomplishments are tangible. A lot of people think that if you’ve “succeeded” with something it always means that you’re making more money or you’re able to acquire more things. To me, that’s not always the case because why do we see so many people out there who are making millions of dollars, or celebrities “living the life” yet they’re really depressed and end up committing suicide? It’s so sad but it’s all about MENTAL HEALTH people!! And now that I’ve realized this, I’m going to continue to do my best with taking care of my body, feeding it the nutrients it needs, making certain it stays healthy and balanced, and then especially nourishing my mind and my heart with positive thoughts, ideas and people, making sure I steer clear from negative vibes and toxic individuals. None of us are getting any younger, so if you haven’t been taking care of yourself already, NOW is the time!
So now that my mind is thinking straight again and I have a clearer understanding of what it’s really going to take to live the life of my dreams, I’ve redirected my focus. I’ve decided that I’m going to go back to work as a dental hygienist temporarily, working part-time (working one or two days a week) so that I can at least sustain my life of traveling, all the while still continuing to build my yoga business, teaching for corporate offices and to private students. I’m also starting to help plan and facilitate retreats whether it be yoga or retreats working with plant medicine. With this new found focus, it makes everything THAT much more exciting because now I have a PURPOSE!
I’m really looking forward to seeing what’s in store for the next 365 days because I know I’m moving closer and closer to my life’s purpose as the days go by!
Thanks so much for tuning in, I really appreciate all of you and make sure you subscribe to my blog on the home page to follow this crazy adventure I call LIFE! As always, sending LOVE, LIGHT, and ABUNDANCE to you, ALL!! xx